Pimple Popper PA

"You call yourself a lifesaver?! I call you Pimple Popper MD!"

I got my first job out of school at a dermatology clinic. 

I know what you're thinking: Pimple-popping-botox-shooting-scab-picking FUN!

Um. YES!

Ok, now imagine the face of a 5 year old at Disney Land.

THIS 5 year old. 

That is the exact face I make every time I get to drain a giant cyst. 

Slicing off skin cancers? As delightful as the coo of a newborn baby.

Snipping off skin tags? More satisfying than taking your bra off at the end of a long day. 

Punch biopsies? On par with the smell of sizzling bacon. 

Freezing off moles? Eh, not as fun. But I most definitely make a "pew pew" noise in my head every time I pull the trigger on the liquid nitrogen can. 

Basically, it's the BEST. 

Megan is mad

Megan Sanchez wants to know why I haven't posted on my blog in twenty seven years.

Preeeeeeeeeety sure it's only been 2 months, but I'll humor her.

Here is a list of all the things I have been doing since my last post:
-Driving 0.2 MPH to work every day in god-forsaken Houston traffic
-Refilling ADHD medications for kids who really just need a swift kick in the ass
-Learning to speak Vietnamese (I can say 3 whole words! Thanks Tiff!)
-Eating free drug rep food for 2.5 square meals per day (didn't gain a single pound...BOOYAH)
-Driving 900 miles back to Albuquerque while listening to Harry Potter audiobooks
-Learning to cross-stitch just so I could make Megan Sanchez a sign that says "That's.....not a real thing"
-Mega cuddling with Clementine, who thought if she continuously sat on me that I wouldn't leave her anymore.
-Snowboarding with my favsie fav John Reid
-Snowboarding with my sweet loverbutt Santiago
-Falling so hard on my snowboard that my goggles flew off
-Eating Nana's posole (and putting lime in it because I'm a sick green bean casserole white girl)
-Drinking gin and opening Christmas presents
-Taking red-eye flights to NYC
-Shuttle anxiety
-Seeing the Royal Tenenbaums house in Harlem. And wishing I had a fur coat and a wooden finger.
-Eating soup dumplings with my all-time favorite copy editor
-Gorging myself on jew food (bagels & lox)
-Chillin' with three-horns and learning about poison at the Natural History Museum
-Taking a hobbly stroll in Central Park with my busted foot. (got some Dr Scholl's inserts. foot still hobbly)
-Appreciating fine scissory art at the MoMA
-Walking down Murder Alley with Chloe Vance to a bar that smells like varnish.
-Drinking as much brunchy mimosas as possible
-Getting engaged and whatnot.
-Crying and yelling at Santiago as he's proposing
-Having really cold hands because my ring is too big to wear with gloves.
-Pizza & champagne toasts with my some of my favorite people who are still my favorites despite having abandoned me to live in NYC
-Watching Book of Mormon on Broadway (MAGICALLY OFFENSIVE)
-Being the only straight people at a New Years Eve party (one big Beyonce sing-along)
-Hanging out with my baby Alex, who has a promising career as a voice-actor for pterodactyls
-Packing up my scrubs and heading to Roswell for my world's best ER rotation
-Needing more Ativan than usual to get through ER shifts with a psychotic preceptor
-Studying sepsis and antibiotic dosages until I want to barf
-Wedding planning (you know. pinning on Pinterest)
-Actual wedding planning
-Puppy sitting a rabid baby polar bear (stuck in Freud's oral stage)
-Driving back and forth from Roswell (more Harry Potter!)

There you go, Megan! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!? Thanks a lot. Now I only have time to watch 1 episode of Game of Thrones before bed.

The Paleo Diet

So I understand that the latest diet craze is the Paleo Diet, where you only eat foods that would have been available to our ancestors. No refined sugars, breads, etc.
The concept doesn't sound that strange to me. What DOES sound strange, is some of the things people are calling "paleo".

Paleo Bacon-Wrapped Asparagus!

Paleo Waffles with Caramel Drizzle!

Paleo Lasagna!

THAT'S NOT A REAL THING.

I'm no archaeologist, but I'm pretty sure that cavemen weren't sitting around the dinner table munching on bacon-wrapped T-bone steaks with biscuits crafted out of almond meal and coconut oil. 

Go ahead and replace your whole wheat toast with bacon because it's "more natural". 

Can't wait to write your lipitor prescription, dummy!

The next person who posts a recipe for paleo enchiladas on Facebook is going to get punched in the neck. For realisies.

The paleo diet is dumb.

The end. 

My Breakfast Towel

Santiago and I get in my car one evening to go grab some dinner. He gets into the passenger side and has to move a bunch of dish towels that are laying on the seat.

"Why is your car covered in dish towels?"

I just look at him, because I know that the explanation of why I have 6 dish towels in my car is going to make him break out into hysterical laughter.

"Those are my breakfast towels"

He glances at the pile of towels and LOSES IT. Crying laughing to the point where he is inconsolable.
--------------- *** ------------------ *** ----------------- *** ----------------- *** ----------------- *** --------------

So here's the back story:

It's a 45 minute commute to the hospital where I did my surgery rotation. That's a LONG drive! A drive where I could be doing other things. Like eating.

I have to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn to leave for the OR, so naturally I set my alarm for the last possible minute. This gives me 20 minutes to get ready and zero minutes to eat breakfast.

I HATE eating first thing in the morning. It's like I have an early morning ileus where my gut is hibernating and refuses to digest food.

But the thing is, I MUST eat breakfast or my blood sugar drops and I go crazy and want to die.

So I grab breakfast to-go.

And because I am a classy lady and don't want oatmeal goo all over my clothes, I would bring a towel with me.
To put on my lap and serve as an oatmeal shield. Or a bagel shield.
So that I don't drop molten hot cream cheese on my thigh while forcing food and coffee down my gullet.

Then, of course, I forget to bring the towels in when I get home.
My breakfast towels.

That time I passed out in the OR

Yeah, that happened.
I'm sure you remember seeing this picture posted on facebook on the first day of my surgery rotation:

It all started in the doctor's lounge at the hospital. We were getting the Dr's 7am pre-surgery Diet Dr Pepper. He casually mentions, "Oh, if you start thinking to yourself 'is it hot in here or just me?' then you're going to pass out. That's what they all say".

Psh. surgery is awesome! who passes out during surgery??
Everyone, apparently.

I scrub in for my first surgical case ever: a laparoscopic cholecystectomy. I don't really get to do anything but I'm excited because I'm all sterile and get to touch the forbidden sterile stuff.
I watch on the monitors as the surgeons locate the gallbladder and take down some adhesions. The case progresses slowly since this guy's gallbladder is so massive that it's hard to grasp with the laparoscopic tools. As I shift my weight around to get a better look, I can feel that there is sweat running down my back, and I think "huh, is it hot in here?"

And then I process that last thought and go NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT MEEEEEEE!!!!!

So basically I don't want to be the idiot student that passes out face first into a patient's bloody abdomen. I calmly ask for a stool to sit on so I can regain my composure. I sit down and continue to watch the case.

Then I'm dreaming. I can't remember about what. But then I start to hear my name in the background.
Stephanie!       Stephanie!      STEPHANIE!!!
I open my eyes and there are 3 nurses standing over me (just like in the movies).
and of course, my first thought is "fuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkkk"
my second thought is "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"
They've ripped my gown off and put a pillow under my head. My scrubs are soaked through with sweat.
I don't even try to get up, I just lay on the floor of the OR with my arms crossed over my chest, pouting.  The floor of the OR is so nice and cold, it feels awesome.
My surgeon looks back over his shoulder to ask if I'm ok.
"Yeah, I can see the monitors much better from down here!"

Two nurses help me up into a wheelchair and they drag my sweaty butt out of the OR. I get a nice little bed in the recovery bay to hang out while my surgeon finishes up the surgery. I'd like to sleep, but instead I start puking. A LOT. (but not like ALOT)
*side note: chocolate banana protein shake tastes JUST as good coming back up as it does going down....

So the surgeon finishes up his case, expecting me to have made a full recovery from my fainting spell, only to find me sweaty and barfing my guts out. Drugs may or may not have been procured for me and I may or may not have received lots of IV fluids...either way, I felt much better 2 hours later.
*side note: Zofran is an AWESOME drug. totally unrelated. just sayin'.

All of the OR nurses came in to check on me and tell me about a time when they had passed out in the OR. It was so sweet! they brought me juice and puke buckets and cool compresses for my forehead. One of them made sure to tell me that I didn't break the sterile field when I fell over. NICE. So I didn't totally screw up.

I bought those nurses a cake. Because nurses love cake. And because it's better to be remembered as the girl who brought in the delicious bundt cake than the girl who got sicker than any other student in the history of OR fainting spells. 

¡Crap(s)!

Santiago and I built a Craps table. It is awesome possum! 

We did it all by ourselves and even used fancy schmancy power tools. 

Step 1: CUT THE WOOD! Probably the most important step. Try not to get sawdust in your eye. 

Step 2: Sand it down! Ain't nobody got time for splinters. 

Step 3: Stain it! This step is essential for making your craps table look AAALLLLLL classy. 

Step 4: assemble! Ikea ain't got nothin on us. 

Step 5: make it foldable! For easy transportation, naturally. We installed hinges and a handle because we were having a lot of fun with the power drill. 

Step 6: insert your groupon-acquired craps table felt. Attach with velcro. 

Step 7: teach your 8-year old kid to play craps. WINNING!!!

Working with Adults: Waaaaay more gross than working with kids. Seriously.

Kids come to the doctor because they have 1 problem:
- a cold
- a fever
- a boo boo
- they're peeing on everything

Adults in long-term care facilities have 78 problems (yeah, like all 78 at once):
- Liver failure
- Respiratory failure
- Heart failure
- Kidney failure
- Hypertension
- Diabetes
- Depression
- UTIs
- Pneumonia
- Fractures
- Traumatic brain injuries
- Strokes
- Bruises
- Medication interactions
- Failure to thrive
- Gait dysfunction
- Memory loss
- COPD
- Spinal cord injuries
- Cancer
- STDs
- Heart attacks
- Ulcers
- Leg edema
- Bed sores


YEAH. I know. These people are not happy campers. And they're not even that old! Half of my patients are my parent's age.

So here is my (wholly unsolicited) advice for all you young people out there: 
- Don't smoke. Seriously I will slap you. It's the number 1 stupidest thing a human being can do (#2 is not knowing the difference between their/they're/there)
- Don't ruin your liver. You kind of need it for EVERYTHING. (I'm not saying don't drink, because that is fun and makes family events 10x better.)
- Don't ride motorcycles. Mostly because it makes me SUPER nervous to drive anywhere near one.
- Don't get diabetes. Just don't. Already have diabetes? CONTROL THAT SHIT.


It all seems pretty common-sense, no? Those are the 4 main reasons these patients need 24/7 care.
And it seriously BUMS ME OUT.

It makes booger-crusted toddlers and screaming/pooping infants look SO good right now.

Recipe Time! Jalapeño Grits with Zucchini and Mushrooms

ERMAHGHERD.
I love this polenta. It's pre-cooked so all you have to do is fancy it up!

 Usually I slice and fry/toast it, but you can also re-constitute it and make grits! Not your plain-Jane-prison-food grits. Jalapeño grits!
And THEN (yeah, there's more!) you can top it with some sautéed veggies. 

Now, I forgot to take a picture, so you can stop scrolling to skip to the good part... just use your 

Disclaimer: you need to be able to do 2 things at once in order to complete this recipe.
Can you cook and drool all at the same time? I hope so.

1 tube pre-cooked polenta 
1 pack mushrooms
1 raw jalapeño (I used a big one, because I like to live dangerously)
2 medium zucchini
Butter/Olive oil/Ghee for cooking
1/2 to 1 cup milk
2 Tbs greek yogurt (or sour cream)
Shredded cheddar cheese (or whatever cheese you have handy)


Step 1: chop up some veggies. I personally like my veggies cut into cubes as opposed to slices. If you prefer slices, no judgement...it's just that your food isn't going to taste quite as magical. 
I sautéed my mushrooms and zucchini in some garlic and ghee (clarified butter - impulse buy at Whole Foods because I wanted to be a hipster chef). 
Sprinkle on a little salt if you are trying to keep your hypertension at a steady state.

Step 2: Cut up your polenta tube into smaller pieces and toss 'em in a pot on medium heat. Add milk and stir until it's a smooth consistency. I used a whisk to help break up the pieces. It's ok if it's kind of thin at first, because it will thicken up as it cooks. Add chopped jalapeño chunks and yogurt. Leave on the burner until it reaches your desired consistency. 

Ps: you've been keeping an eye on those veggies, right? I bet right now they are getting nice & soft and juicy....mmmmmm

Step 3: Spoon grits onto plates (bowls are also acceptable).
Top with veggies and shredded cheese. As much as you can handle. And if you can't handle it...you should probably GTFO. 

Step 4: NOM ON IT. you know you want to. 

The Joys of Working in a Germ Factory

Aka: Pediatric Clinic

Here's a fun fact: children are disgusting. 

They touch and pick and poke and sniff and lick and will put anything they can reach into their mouth/nose/ears. 

This is children in their natural state. They possess an innate ability to breed disease, and then sneeze it all over you. 

Children are the perfect vectors for disease because they are so damn cute. That's how they lure you in. They are so chubby and cuddly that you just want to SQUEEZE them! But alas, once you make contact there is no hope. You've been infected. 

Probably with the plague. 

Or some stupid virus. 

And not even the good behind-the-counter-meth-grade Sudafed can save you. 

Conversations with patients

It's always fun to start your day out with sick kids and moms that are off-the-handle craycray.

Here are some fun quotes from patients and their parents:

"I've been giving him non-drowsy Benadryl"  (ummmm that's not a real thing)

"Well, she [3 year old patient] was watching Doc McStuffins and said we needed to go to the doctor...so here we are!"   (great, and if Doc McStuffins told you to jump off a cliff??)

Parent: "She gets diarrhea when she eats dairy."

Me: "How long has this been going on?"

Parent: "About 3 years"

Me: "Have you tried restricting dairy products?"

Parent: "No....."

Parent: "I'm worried about his weight...how much should he weigh?"

Doctor: "Less."

(Patient had stepped on a pencil and had the tip stuck in her foot):

Parent: "I brought her in right away because I didn't want her to get lead poisoning!"

Me: "Pencils are made of graphite..."

Me: "There's something yellow in his ear...but it doesn't look like earwax"

Parent: "Dammit did you put playdoh in your ear again?!"

"Should he be farting this much?"

Me: "So what brings you in to the clinic today?"

Kid: "The school nurse said I'm obese and have diabetes"

Baby Names

I've been working at a pediatric clinic for the past 5 weeks and all I can say is

WTF PARENTS?!

I see about 15 patients per day. Of those 15 patients, roughly 12 of them have names that make me question the IQ of their parents.

Here are some REAL names of kids. Like, kids who are going to grow up into adults. Adults named Miracle and Jeramae (yeah, that's "jer-uh-MAY"...a girl's name, obviously)

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
what happened to David, Amy, Melissa? You know, names I can pronounce.

I made a list because some of these names are right up there with Sandstorm, Bookcase, and Hat.

Shirah (disappointingly, this child was not a full-bodied red wine)
Joeyshy  (a biblical name, meaning "kick me")
Yessenia (one -r short of Yersennia, as in yersennia pestis, the causative organism of the mother-effing PLAGUE)
Kanon/ Cannon (yeah that's right, two alternative spellings of pirate weaponry)
Charisma (screamed at me during the entire exam while mucus spewed out of her tiny nostrils)
Yalexia (Yale meets anorexia = smart AND skinny!)
Amariyah (umm can you imagine incorporating this into a happy birthday song?)

Sorry if you or your loved ones are named one of these ridiculous names. It doesn't make you a bad person, but it does make whoever signed your birth certificate a total ass-hat (which, interestingly enough, is the predicted top baby name of 2014. it's unisex)

Important Edit: Audrey, one of my classmates, is on her Pediatrics rotation and shared a few more amazing names with me. Here they are:

Chevy (like the truck)
Chevelle (another car)
Tuff (like Ford tough....)
Mister (dad says "this way my son will always be shown respect")
Female (rhymes with tamale)
Abcde (pronounced ab-sit-tee)
Areiae (no clue how to pronounce this)
Dilaudid (mom & dad's favorite drug)
Chlamydia (mom thought it was a beautiful flower...maybe she meant chrysanthemum?)
Malli (pronounced like Molly)
Aceland (future hardware store owner)

Audrey's thoughts on weird kid names: "whatever happened to good strong saint names? like Thomas, John, Luke, Mark, Stephen, Peter, George....come on Steph!!"

BELLY FOOD

Beets are so fun and purple-y!
They taste delish (well, at least they do the way I cook em')
and it's always fun to play the "beets? or hematuria?" game  --> a good way to test your bowel function!

I lurve roasting beets in the oven with balsamic vinegar - they turn out tangy sweet and I could eat them by the fistful if it didnt make my hands all purple and murder-looking.
And I always seem to have carrots in the fridge that are wilty and sad that are no longer all that appetizing...

Roasted Beet-Carrot Salad with Polenta and Goat Cheese:  (this makes a LOT because I want to eat it in large quantities)
2-3 medium sized beets
3-4 ugly shrively carrots
Olive oil
Balsamic vinegar
1 oz herbed goat cheese
1 tube pre-cooked polenta (this may only exist at Whole Foods...who knows)
Baby spinach or mixed greens


Step 1: Scrub the beets. Nobody wants dirt in their salad. sick.
Step 2: Chop up some beets and carrots (yeah, those ugly ones)
The beets are gonna bleed all over, so make sure you are wearing your finest white linen pants while preparing this meal.
Step 3: Toss the beets and carrots with some olive oil and a generous amount of vinegar in a baking dish
Step 4: Roast at 400 degrees for about 40 minutes (Stir it up after about 30 min)
Step 5: Cut polenta into 1/2 inch slices. Brush with olive oil, salt & pepper. Broil 5 minutes on each side (I do this in the toaster oven while the veggies are in the oven)
Step 6: Put a handful of spinach or salad greens on your plate. Layer on the polenta slices, veggies, and goat cheese. you can even add more balsamic vinegar if you want, because it tastes effing MAGICAL.
Step 7: nom

you are welcome

MOAR FOOD

I love alfredo sauce. I love it's buttery creaminess. I don't even care if it's super fatty-rific. I want it sliding down my esophagus and coating my tummy with warm-comfy-pasta-love.

Buuuuuttt maybe I care a little

Alfredo sauce + greek yogurt is BY FAR so so so so much tastier than buying some nasty low-cal/low-fat sauce. Just cut it yourself! your cellulite will thank you later.

Green Chile Chicken Alfredo: (serves 3...because you'll want leftovers for lunch tomorrow)

1/2 C of your favorite alfredo sauce  (mine's Gia Russa)
1/2 C of nonfat Fage Greek Yogurt (the plain kind, duh)
1/3 C chopped green chiles
1/2 C chopped tomatoes
Handfull of baby spinach
1 grilled chicken breast, cut into cubes or slices (about 6 oz)
Salt, pepper, garlic to taste.
Warm it up in a saucepan until spinach is wilty, or eat it cold if you are some sort of psychopath.
Spoon that creamy goodness over 1 cup of your favorite pasta (capellini, of course)

Squash, Mushroom, & Bell Pepper Alfredo:  (serves 3, for leftover purposes)

1/2 C of your favorite alfredo sauce  (not from a dry powder...that is sick)
1/2 C of nonfat Fage Greek Yogurt
1/4 cup milk
1 medium yellow squash, chopped
1/2 yellow bell pepper, chopped
2 C chopped mushrooms
2 Tbs garlic (the pre-chopped kind in a jar because AINT NOBODY GOT TIME TO CHOP AND PEEL GARLIC)
2 1/2 cups Egg Noodles
Salt, White pepper, Powdered Mustard, and Paprika to taste
Chopped green onion for garnish.

Heat up some H2O (if you are a scientist) or water (if you are a commoner) and boil up them noodles.

Sautee up the squash, bell pepper, and garlic with 1-2 Tbs oil or butter or spray or whatever form of grease you desire. Add the mushrooms once the other veggies soften up a bit. Cook until tender.
Add the sauce components & seasoning, stir until gooey delicious.
Serve, Garnish, Nom. Go back to the pot and sneak seconds. It's ok. There's only 400 cal/serving.
GET SOME.

FOOD

I have been cooking some seriously amaze-ballz food lately and wanted to share so that you would be jealous of my sweet skills.

Quiche.
It sounds like a fancy Frenchman's brunch fare, but really it's just egg pie.
(kinda how like football should be called handegg)

The base is the same for whatever type of quiche I'm making:
Crust + Egg Mix + Filling --> bake @ 400 for 45-60 min = Slobbery Deliciousness

(higher filling:egg ratio --> ~45 min bake time.....higher egg:filling ratio --> ~60 min bake time)

1 frozen pie crust
6-ish eggs (you can sub out some for just egg whites if that's how you roll)
2 Tbs greek yogurt (I never have real milk in the house....just vanilla almond milk and that would not make for a winning combination)
Salt & Pepper

I like to layer my filling in the bottom of the crust then top with the egg mixture.

Possible awesome filling combos:
Green Chile + Cheddar + Bacon
Leeks + Goat Cheese + Mushrooms
Turkey + Habanero Cheddar + Tomatoes

The amount of filling is up to you. Personally, I only use the egg as glue to hold all of my bacony-cheesy goodness together...it is definitely not the star of this show.

Can I get an Om Nom Nom?!?!

Nutritional Info (yeah, seriously.)
Veggie Version runs about 280-300 cal/slice (assuming you cut the pie into 8 portions)
Bacon Version runs about 300-340 cal/slice depending on amt of bacon/cheese used.

Oatmeal? AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT.
Stick your fabulous quiche in the microwave and then subsequently stuff it in your face.

I just remembered that I have a blog

I was just thinking to myself, "Man, I wish I could tell people on Facebook about all the awesome stuff I'm doing without being labeled as an over-sharing crazypants"...and then I remembered I have this blog!
It seriously took me a while to remember what it was called or which email account I used to set it up. Oops...
So when I finally logged in for the first time since October 2011, I saw on the nifty little stats thing that my blog had occasional hits. I felt so bad for that person who keeps checking in to see if maybe, today'll be the day Stephanie posts something!
(I imagine this person looking like this:)

So, to avoid disappointing my one and only follower, I've decided to pick it up again!
Let the hilarity ensue.

I suck at updating

Sorry I suck at updating my blog. And Facebook.....oh well. I don't even have a legit excuse like having multiple children or extracurricular activities. I'm just lazy. For instance, right now I'm dipping my grilled cheese in Cholula because I was too lazy to heat up some tomato soup. (It's working out quite nicely, btw)

So here's what's new:

WORK
I started a new job about a month ago as a laboratory technician at a respiratory research facility on the Air Force base. The lab I work in processes (breaks down) tissue samples from animals that have been dosed with radiation (for the purpose of developing treatments for respiratory disorders).
Side note: the FDA requires that drugs cannot be tested on humans until they have been proven safe on at least three species of animals...you learn something new every day!
So anyway, I spend the whole day working on huge batches of tissue samples. It's kind of cool working with stuff that is radioactive! It's a cool job but if I had to do it every day for the rest of my life I would DIE. Definitely not my career of choice. The pay is ok until you look at your pay stub and see a huge chunk of my paycheck go to taxes :( stupid taxes. Is there any way to opt out of paying them? Because I would totally sign up for that.

SCHOOL
A few weeks ago I interviewed at a PA school here in town called St Francis. It's a private school based out of Illinois and is in a building I must have passed a hundred times but never noticed....it's right across from a bar I go to every Wednesday night for Geeks Who Drink (which is awesome!). Anywho, I got my acceptance letter in the mail this week! Classes start January 4th! It's a full-time program that consists of 15 months of school and 12 months of clinical rotations.....after that I'll have a MS in Physician Assistant Studies! And, call me a nerd, but I am really excited to be going back to school :)
My other option would be UNM, since they just got a PA master's program last year, but they haven't even started interviews yet. Their program also has to attend lectures and share cadavers with the med school students, which is pretty lame. If they get their stuff together and call me for an interview soon, I'll consider it, but otherwise I'm sending in my check to St Francis to hold my spot!

KITTY
Little Clementine Woolysocks got some claw caps put on this week because of her awesome habit of scratching the beejesus out of Santiago and I. She is totally psychotic and will scratch for no reason. But the caps have cured her evil ways! She has tried to take a piece out of us but just ends up batting at our arms with her little blunt-tipped nails. Nice try, devil cat! She is so much cuter now that we know she cant sneak attack us anymore!

Clementine just has clear ones for now, but obviously we will be getting the hot pink ones next time!

This is Clementine.

Clementine Woolysocks Ryan-Gonzales.

She is 1 year old and weighs about 7lbs.

She likes to sleep on top of you no matter what you are doing. Most of the time Santiago just calls her "wet noodle cat" 

 This is the bed I made for Clementine. (she is only sitting in it because I forced her to--she prefers the floor...or the couch...or my laptop)

Because she is a wet noodle she will pretty much let you do anything. Like pretend her paw is a machine gun while you make "pew-pew!" noises.

 Sometimes she is mean.

But most of the time she is just RIDICULOUS. 

We love her <3

Life Update

I'm applying to PA school!
And I'm so excited I could PUKE!
But, I have way too much to do before the end of the semester.
Soooooo putting the application on the back-burner until school is out.
I'm taking the GRE on May 6th.
Graduating on May 13th.
Partying it up on May 21st!
And getting a kitten. Probably this week if I play my cards right :) I'm serious. I know I keep saying it but I WILL HAVE MY KITTEN!!!!

Dear Hipsters

I can see the outline of your junk in your skinny jeans and I'm not impressed.

While the cat's away.....

The mice will play!

Except in this analogy I'm just going to buy a cat. No mice involved.
Santiago is in Phoenix, and I'm bored. I want a kitten soooooo bad! However, Santiago is "allergic" and since I kinda don't want him to die I probably won't bring one home. Maybe. I'm still contemplating...

Here is the problem (other than the allergies, which could be cured by me grinding up a Zyrtec into Santiago's breakfast every morning) Either I have short-term memory loss or I just have a bigger forgiveness center in my brain. I just cant stay mad at Santiago for more than......6 and a half minutes. He puts on the cute face, makes me laugh, then kisses me until I can't even fake a frown. I must not have a comparable cute face, because I get the silent treatment until he decides I've been punished enough. I have a feeling that a kitten might land me a good month or so of silent treatment....Which I obviously could not handle since I am needy and require love and attention from Santiago 24/7. (but then again....I would have a kitten to keep me company during my exile!)


So instead, I'm just going to rearrange all the furniture and go shopping.

.