Baby Names

I've been working at a pediatric clinic for the past 5 weeks and all I can say is

WTF PARENTS?!

I see about 15 patients per day. Of those 15 patients, roughly 12 of them have names that make me question the IQ of their parents.

Here are some REAL names of kids. Like, kids who are going to grow up into adults. Adults named Miracle and Jeramae (yeah, that's "jer-uh-MAY"...a girl's name, obviously)

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
what happened to David, Amy, Melissa? You know, names I can pronounce.

I made a list because some of these names are right up there with Sandstorm, Bookcase, and Hat.

Shirah (disappointingly, this child was not a full-bodied red wine)
Joeyshy  (a biblical name, meaning "kick me")
Yessenia (one -r short of Yersennia, as in yersennia pestis, the causative organism of the mother-effing PLAGUE)
Kanon/ Cannon (yeah that's right, two alternative spellings of pirate weaponry)
Charisma (screamed at me during the entire exam while mucus spewed out of her tiny nostrils)
Yalexia (Yale meets anorexia = smart AND skinny!)
Amariyah (umm can you imagine incorporating this into a happy birthday song?)

Sorry if you or your loved ones are named one of these ridiculous names. It doesn't make you a bad person, but it does make whoever signed your birth certificate a total ass-hat (which, interestingly enough, is the predicted top baby name of 2014. it's unisex)

Important Edit: Audrey, one of my classmates, is on her Pediatrics rotation and shared a few more amazing names with me. Here they are:

Chevy (like the truck)
Chevelle (another car)
Tuff (like Ford tough....)
Mister (dad says "this way my son will always be shown respect")
Female (rhymes with tamale)
Abcde (pronounced ab-sit-tee)
Areiae (no clue how to pronounce this)
Dilaudid (mom & dad's favorite drug)
Chlamydia (mom thought it was a beautiful flower...maybe she meant chrysanthemum?)
Malli (pronounced like Molly)
Aceland (future hardware store owner)

Audrey's thoughts on weird kid names: "whatever happened to good strong saint names? like Thomas, John, Luke, Mark, Stephen, Peter, George....come on Steph!!"