Conversations with patients

It's always fun to start your day out with sick kids and moms that are off-the-handle craycray.

Here are some fun quotes from patients and their parents:

"I've been giving him non-drowsy Benadryl"  (ummmm that's not a real thing)

"Well, she [3 year old patient] was watching Doc McStuffins and said we needed to go to the doctor...so here we are!"   (great, and if Doc McStuffins told you to jump off a cliff??)

Parent: "She gets diarrhea when she eats dairy."

Me: "How long has this been going on?"

Parent: "About 3 years"

Me: "Have you tried restricting dairy products?"

Parent: "No....."

Parent: "I'm worried about his weight...how much should he weigh?"

Doctor: "Less."

(Patient had stepped on a pencil and had the tip stuck in her foot):

Parent: "I brought her in right away because I didn't want her to get lead poisoning!"

Me: "Pencils are made of graphite..."

Me: "There's something yellow in his ear...but it doesn't look like earwax"

Parent: "Dammit did you put playdoh in your ear again?!"

"Should he be farting this much?"

Me: "So what brings you in to the clinic today?"

Kid: "The school nurse said I'm obese and have diabetes"